Humorous Crack
by ifindoubtgoforthetwizzlers
Summary: A set of Drabbles. Different POV's, pairings. May be: OOC, Crack, AU or just weird.
1. Chapter 1

_**Warning: Fantasy-induced Crack. **_

_**Disclaimer: No own! Own-age goes to Masashi Kishimoto!**_

Sir Sasuke Uchiha. A brave and wonderful man, excellent soldier with unrivalled sword fighting skills and the ability to make any Lady wither with delight at a brief glance. The man who has slaughtered countless Dragons and Evil Over Lords. Currently being whacked to death over the head with a rather large bowl by a particularly pretty maid. In a field full of his laughing 'friends'.

'Hey, hey! What are you doing, woman?' He tried to prevent the woman creating brain damage by grabbing her bowl. Unfortunately, her grip was stronger than he thought it might be and was sent flying into a nearby tree. Pain spiked up and down his spine, as he continued to look bewildered.

'The _name_ is Sakura. _Sa-ku-ra_. What were you doing, spying on me doing me washing? Hoping to cop a feel, huh?' She stared him down with furious eyes, hands on hips seen as she lost her weapon when she threw the poor man away.

He looked positively flabbergasted. 'Sakura, I would never do that. I was merely wishing to ask you if-.'

'I don't believe anything a person like _you _says. Lies and deceit.' she stared down at him haughtily.

'_I wanted to ask you if you would care _to_ come with me to the banquet tonight!_' He yelled, making the crowd splutter with laughter, enhancing the embarrassed glow on his face. Sakura herself was blushing a pretty pink not too unlike her hair, giggling at the knight she had humiliated.

Sasuke couldn't believe it. He sat glaring at his team mates, Sakura, Sai and Naruto, whilst they sniggered at him, having woken him up from his desk-top slumber. 'Why were you shouting about saving me from Dragons? Been playing D'n'D with Shikamaru again?' Sakura laughed even harder at Sasuke's glare. He crossed his arms on his chest and 'Hmph'd', choosing to stare out of the window instead of look at the mocking fellow Shinobi.

'Well at least I know you love me now. Even if it is in your dreams.' Sakura had a wicked glint in her eye as she said those words. 'Come on, Tsunade has a mission for us.'

**_This is the first in a series of crack drabbles. Because I am on study leave and my brain is a bit hay wire. Not going to be pairing specific, but do expect fluff from a pairing you may not like. N_**_**one of the updates here will be longer than 1000 words. K?**_

_**Blame my writing of a Fantasy story and then getting sidetracked by the new chapter of Naruto. **_


	2. Chapter 2

'The Phantom Ice Cream Splatter. He prowls the night streets of Konoha, ice creams of the vanilla variety in his hands, ready to splat unfortunate passers by with his icy weapons. This man is a danger to our society and we urge you to take care whilst making your way through the streets at night. No one deserves to have an Arctic surprise, turning a corner or going into an alley way. Travel in groups and -' _Splat._ Tsunade, Hokage of Konoha was splatted by a huge vat of ice cream, standing on stage, making a speech in front of most of the village.

A familiar laugh, from a very familiar unpredictable ninja echoed in the distance. 'Naruto! You will pay for this, Brat!' Tsunade took off at full speed, leaving in her wake a giggling audience.

_**A minuscule idea that floated into my head.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters**_

"Eh? What's that Sakura-chan? Where are you going?"

It was the end of a hard day of training for Sakura, Sai and Naruto. They were all very tired and all Sai and Naruto wanted to do was have the customary visit to Ichiraku and then crash on to bed to sleep. How ever, Sakura wanted to do something different.

Naruto raced after Sakura, very curious about the strange direction that his team mate was taking.

"Naruto! I said that I'm on my way to my clown training class. Now leave me alone for once. Whilst you're at it, open your eyes and notice that Hyuuga Hinata is in love with you, so you can stop obsessing over me!" She took off at an even faster pace, so she wasn't late for her new hobby.

"Hinata-chan?" Naruto stopped dead, making Sai run straight into him.

_**A/N: Exciting news! I putting ideas for a big fic to post, which should be done fairly soon. It's in the same vein as the 1st drabble I posted here but, different.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: No one. Belongs to Kishimoto-san. **_

_**Warnings: Implied YAOI. And swearing.**_

"Sai, you bastard! Why are so obsessed with my dick?" Naruto screamed down Sai's ear.

"I'm just letting you know that you have a small one." Sai smiled.

"_**That does not explain why you keep mentioning it!"**_ Naruto roared.

Sai gulped. It was time for him to come out of the closet.

"Naruto, I must tell you something. I am a phallic-ally obsessed homosexual and I like to know that my dick is larger than the man's that I yearn to pound."

There was a pause. Naruto's eyes widened. Naruto began to edge away from Sai.

Sai cracked up as best an emotionally stunted weirdo could. "No. I just like insulting you."

"_**I won't let you get away with this!"**_ Naruto began to chase Sai throughout the once peaceful village of Konoha.

_**A/N: Was inspired by something that I wrote in the currently-not-posted-up 12th chapter of Becoming The Loner. I am the author of that story It was too irresistible. **_


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